Saving You
by LeilanaIce
Summary: Novelized version of the ending of Season 2, Episode 17 titled Heart. My perspective on what happens after Sam saves Madison.


_**Saving You**_

"Madison, you deserve to know. We've scoured every source. There's just no cure."

She glanced at the younger Winchester brother after Dean bluntly and yet sympathetically told her the truth. "Is...is he right?" she questioned, gazing up at Sam.

He couldn't look at her; he couldn't answer her because he knew if he said anything at all it would be making this truth existant, and Sam didn't want to accept that. Averting his face, Sam stood up with his back to Madison and Dean, staring out the window and thinking over and over again in his mind of some antidote or some sort of answer that could take this away from her. He couldn't do it again. He couldn't go through losing somebody else. He'd already lost so much. Sam silently cursed himself for allowing himself to fall for another girl. After Jess, it had just been so hard, but now...this. He thought he'd finally had a chance at happiness, but apparently he was wrong again. Why did this always happen to him? Why did it seem as though everybody around him died? Maybe he truly was cursed.

Silence filled Madison's apartment living room. Sam couldn't answer her, and Dean just stayed quiet. All that could be heard was Sam struggling to keep his breathing under control as the girl, draped in Sam's striped, button shirt, gazed at the floor, her hands held to her chest. The younger Winchester was looking away; his older brother sat on the other side of the room looking torn.

"We could lock you up at night, but you'd bust out and some night you will...someone else dies," Dean told her seriously. His green eyes looked upward at his agonized, younger brother with an expression that read 'I'm sorry, but there is no other way.' Sam turned his pain-filled, hazel orbs down at his older brother, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He looked away once more, not able to face the truth.

Madison slowly shook her dark head, a soft sigh escaping her lips. "So, I guess that's all there is to it then," she spoke softly, eyes not leaving the floor. Sam whirled around, eyebrows raised, blue-green eyes widened slightly, and his throat closed.

"Stop it, don't talk like that," the young man demanded in the strongest voice the lump in his throat would allow. Madison turned her huge brown eyes up at Sam, sorrow, fear and determination filling them.

"Sam, I don't want to hurt anyone else," she declared and shook her dark head. "I don't want to hurt you," the girl insisted, her voice choked with tears. Sam's brow furrowed, his adam's apple bobbing as he did his best to swallow back the lump in his throat.

Madison averted her eyes from Sam, turning her head downward to gaze down at the white-handled pistol loaded with silver bullets that rested on the end table. Her eyes scanned over the silver-colored piece before she grabbed the cold steel in her hand, clutching her fingers tightly around it. Madison slowly approached Sam, holding the gun toward him, her stare unwavering. She knew what had to be done, no matter how much Sam denied it, this was the best way, the only way.

Sam's eyes narrowed as he watched the young woman advance toward him. He did his best to control the sobs threatening to overwhelm him. Sam took a quick glance down at the gun held in her hand and gave Madison a demanding look. "Put that down," he told her softly, emotion touching his tones. The young hunter couldn't bring himself to raise his voice. In fact, it was getting more and more difficult to speak. This really couldn't be happening, could it? There had to be some way to save this poor girl from her fate. Dean's words played over and over again in his mind. They _had_ scoured every source. They'd called everyone they knew for some kind of answer to break Madison from this curse. There was just no known cure for a werewolf. The younger Winchester knew Dean was right, and it threatened to rip him apart from the inside out. There was nothing they could do, but he just couldn't bring himself to take the gun from the lovely woman's hands. He couldn't do it.

"I can't do it myself," Madison told him as she turned the gun in her hands, both of them wrapped around the barrel. "I need you to help me," her voice quivered, eyes never leaving his handsome face. She placed the white handle of the weapon against Sam's diaphragm, the barrel facing downward, in gesture for him to take the gun and point it at her.

"Madison, no," Sam replied insistantly. There was no way he could kill her. It just wasn't happening. There had to of been some sort of past legend they missed. He was going to find a way. He was going to do everything in his power that he could to save this girl. She wasn't going to die. Sam tried to convince himself that there were something out there to help her, whether it be to control her transformations or completely cure her. He didn't care. Madison was _not _going to die. Not this time. He was going to keep her from that, Sam was sure of it.

"Sam, I'm a monster," Madison told him, a bit of firmness and finality to her voice.

"You don't have to be," Sam told her, the two leaning closer to one another. Perseverance and determination filled Sam's expression. "We can find a way, alright? I can, I'm gonna save you," the young hunter attested. He almost had himself really believing now that he could find a way to keep her from dying. With everything that he and Dean had saw, everything they'd been through and researched and studied, there had to be a way for Madison to be rescued from this curse. This poor girl didn't deserve what had become of her, and Sam's heart had opened itself up once more to the possibility of finding somebody that would love him for him again. Now it was being taken away from him, just like Jess had been, and he had no say-so in the matter. No, no it wasn't happening again. He was going to protect her and raise her from this curse. There just had to be a way. Madison's voice broke him from mulling his thoughts.

"You tried, I know you tried," she told him, desperation barely heard in her voice, shaking her head back and forth. Madison honestly knew and understood how much Sam had done to try and figure this out for her. He had searched in vain; both of the brothers had. Not only for Madison's sake, but for Sam's as well. She knew it was futile, just as Dean knew, and Sam knew it as well. He just didn't want to acknowledge or affirm the truth. It just couldn't be accepted. "This is all there is left," Madison contended, still continuing to clasp onto the gun in her hands. "Help me, Sam," she pleaded in barely above a whisper. Her eyes never left his tortured face. "I want you to do it. I want it to be you."

"I can't," he told her, teeth clenching, heart feeling like it was going to explode through his chest as he fought to keep his emotions in check.

Tears streaked down Madison's pink cheeks and she smiled lightly. "I don't want to die," she told him as she shook her head once more. There was a small laugh of what sounded like disbelief that egressed, almost as if she couldn't believe this was happening to her. "I don't...but I can't live like this. This is the way you can save me."

Sam swallowed hard, turning his face from Madison's briefly, and he stared down at the loaded gun, still held in her delicate hand, once more. Jaw clenching as he fought against the grief, he tried to take breaths to control himself as the reality set in. There was no way to save this girl, and Madison didn't want to continue on like this. She didn't _want_ to die, but she couldn't accept the fact that she was killing other people unknowingly either. There was no control over it. She hadn't even remembered what she'd done.

"Please," Madison pleaded softly, her deep, brown eyes still staring fixedly at the anguished, younger Winchester brother. "I'm asking you to save me," she beseeched, whispering.

Sam took in a breath, not able to speak. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, despair and misery where practically choking him. His shook his head in answer to her, closing his eyes against the overwhelming pain slowly filling his heart. Dean, observing Madison and Sam this entire time and staying quiet, stood up from his seat and approached the couple. He stood behind Madison, and the older Winchester slowly removed the gun from Madison's hand. She allowed him to take it, her resolve never wavering as she stared up at Sam.

The younger brother just couldn't bring himself to look at her anymore. He watched his brother as he gently removed the weapon from Madison's clutched fingers, fighting tooth and nail against the sobs building up in his chest. He could feel himself trembling. Sam stared up at his older brother, a look of begging, pleading, and sorrow unmasked his expression; an expression that clearly read 'Dean, please help me.' Though he knew this time that there was nothing his older brother could do to make it better for him. Sam felt a small, quiet sob escape his throat. He gazed down once more at Madison, his eyes burning against the threat of tears, his lips pursed. Madison just continued to stare at him with her pleading gaze. He couldn't take it anymore. The emotion, the pain, the reality and the truth of what he had to do was crushing him, consuming him. Sam broke his gaze from the beautiful, young woman's and turned away, walking out of the room. He didn't want Madison to see him broken and defeated.

Sam walked out of the living room and into the hallway so he couldn't be seen, leaning up against the door frame as he fought against his tears, his back turned toward the room. There really was no other way to save her. There was no known cure for a werewolf, and he knew that. He just didn't want to accept it. He could feel his heart slowly starting to crumble, his defenses breaking down, and he couldn't stop the salty water burning his eyes. He never noticed Dean following him. He didn't hear the older Winchester stop behind him until Dean spoke his name quietly. "Sam?"

The young hunter didn't want to face his older brother, because he knew if he did, he'd see the truth in Dean's eyes. He'd see the sympathy, the sorrow and the commiseration in those green orbs. Sam didn't know if he could handle it. He was fighting a losing battle. Sucking in a breath and letting it out slowly, he turned toward his older brother who stood there with those expressions clearly readable on his face. Dean stared down at the gun held in his hand before looking back up at his tormented and crushed younger brother. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're right," Sam spoke in a choked whisper. He sniffed softly, gazing downward and then raising his tear-bright eyes to look at his older brother. "She's right," he finally admitted. As much as he didn't want to, it had to be done. Madison's dying wish was for him to be the one to do it, to save her. If he couldn't cure her, then there was no other option. He'd have to save her, as much as it tore him apart.

"Sammy, I got this one. I'll do it," Dean offered, noting the pure torment and affliction his brother was currently suffering through at the mere thought of having to shoot the woman he was beginning to fall in love with.

"She asked me to," Sam responded, quiet sobs jerking his body and heaving in his chest. He couldn't hold back his emotions anymore. There was no burying them. Everything was coming to light now and while Sam didn't want to accept the facts, there was nothing he could do about it, but just bear it.

"You don't have to," Dean insisted quietly, obviously wanting to save his brother from having to endure something so tragic. Dean was always trying to protect Sam and save him from ever having to do anything as horrible as this, but this time it just wasn't happening. It's what Madison wanted.

"Yes I do," Sam replied, relentless tears escaping his hazel eyes and slipping down his cheeks. He blinked against them, doing his best to try and not completely break down and held his hand out for the gun, sniffling. "Please," he demanded gently, trying to compose himself. Reluctantly, Dean handed him the gun, his expression that stated 'you don't have to do this, little brother' never left his face, but Sam was persistant. He nodded his head as Dean placed the heavy, cold, steel pistol in his little brother's hand.

"Just wait here," Sam's quivering and broken voice told the older Winchester. The younger brother turned away from Dean and began heading back towards the living room, where he knew Madison awaited him. Sam turned back once more to look at his brother, tears shining on his cheeks. That same 'please help me, I don't want to do this, I can't do this, but I know you can't help me this time' expression plastered on his tear-stained face, and Dean felt completely helpless for the first time in awhile. There was nothing he could do to protect his little brother from this. He'd offered to shoot the girl for him, but Sam wouldn't have it.

Turning his gaze back toward the living room, Sam took in a deep breath, doing his best to assuage himself. He headed right toward the living room and back to where Madison stood. She didn't speak a word. The dark-haired girl just gazed at him longingly and apologetically. Sam approached her and heard her whisper "Please" one more time. Before his resolve wavered, he put one warm around Madison's waist and held her close, leaning his tear-wet face against her hair.

"I'm so sorry," he choked as her hands held the barrel of the gun and guided them toward her chest, right against her heart.

"It's okay," Madison responded just as softly. She buried her tear-stained face into his neck, breathing in his masucline scent for the last time. She ran her fingertips down his damp cheek. "You're saving me." The girl closed her chocolate-brown eyes, and Sam drank in her essence one more time. She opened up her eyes, locking gazes with his blue-green, tear-filled, hazel one, before pulling the trigger and saving the woman in his arms. He watched her face as he shot her, a small smiled had played on her lips. The gunshot echoed off the walls of the room. Back in the hallway, he never even knew of the small tear of sympathy that Dean let fall for him.

Sam watched as the light gradually left her once bright eyes. Her beautiful orbs slowly closed peacefully, and her body went limp in his arms, the peaceful smile still on her face. Sam let the gun drop from his hand and fall to the floor with a clatter, and he went to his knees, clutching Madison's body against his. Sam didn't hold back; he allowed his sorrow, grief and remorse to consume him. The younger Winchester buried his face in her hair, holding her close to him and cried brokenly, openly. Once again, he didn't hear Dean approach him. He barely acknowledged Dean's warm hand closing over his shoulder, until he was squeezing it, but that only made him cry harder.

He didn't notice the few tears that Dean was shedding for him. Madison was dead. He'd broken his rule and allowed himself to feel something for another girl, but as fate would have it, she was gone now too. It was over. Sam silently and furiously vowed to himself that he would never let himself fall like this again. It was too painful and too hard to say goodbye, but the girl did get her dying wish from a terrible fate and life that she could've led, but she didn't because of Sam. Even though he didn't feel it was true, Sam had saved her.

* * *

Right, so I wanted to sort of novelize the whole ending scene from when Dean tells Madison there's no hope for her as I wanted to accentuate Sam's feelings, however I added a bit on to the end of this. In the episode, I really wish they couldn't have just ended it right after the gunshot. I wish they'd shown Sam afterward and what had happened, but they didn't, so alas my brain decided to think up it's own image of what transpired after Sam shot Madison. And thus, this is what I came up with. This is probably my favorite episode in the entire series. I love Sammy. ;_; He needs a break. Anyway, please R&R! It's a writer's crack!


End file.
